Slurp Your Soup
Ever since I became an etiquette coach a common reaction I get from others is usually a good-humored, dramatized showing of uneasiness - as if I am evaluating their every move. The truth of it is, unless you're paying me for my coaching services, I'm not giving them. So rest easy, friend.
My husband Ben and I enjoyed dinner with a dear couple who are of Asian descent last night. We savored a delicious beef noodle soup and oolong tea, ceremoniously poured (quite a treat!). At one point, the wife mentioned, "I know this is not the western way to eat your soup, but this is how it is done in Japan." With that she proceeded to pick up her bowl and drink the remaining broth.
She may have expected me to be offended at the breach in American protocol, but to the contrary, I was delighted! I set down my spoon, picked up my bowl, and followed suit. She then explained that in her culture the sound of slurping was music to a cook's ears, indicating that the soup was very tasty! Once again, I obliged, eager to show how tasty I thought the meal was.
Somehow we've adopted this idea in our culture that etiquette is all about stuffy rules and rigid formalities that separate people rather than bring them together, but nothing could be further from the truth. Etiquette is and has been motivated by one key thing: courtesy. Etiquette queen Emily Post - who literally wrote the book on etiquette - is quoted saying, "Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use."
This week's Tweetable:
You have to know the rules to know when to break them, and principle should trump practice every time.
Be bright and beautiful in word and deed,
