How to Navigate Social Media Etiquette
If you think living in a small town is bad for privacy, try living on an island. Living in both over the past 10 years has been quite the fishbowl experience.
Despite the rather intimate atmosphere, I very much enjoyed both my little town and island life. I loved the closeness of community, often seeing familiar faces, impromptu get-togethers, and the opportunity to grow together and be there for one another over the years.
I feel like living in a small town (or on an island) makes you more conscious of the way you treat people. Unlike in a city where you most likely will never see any one random person again, you can't really afford to take out your bad day on a stranger in a small town because that stranger has friends and word gets around. In a small town you have a reputation to maintain, and not just for the sake of being liked; your livelihood and ability to live peacefully depends on it!
Small towns are fine...
if you've got nothing to hide.
Perhaps you don't live in a small town. Maybe you live in a big city. I did that, too. Atlanta was my childhood playground, and anonymity was nearly guaranteed. Until today.
Introducing...
a real small town experience
brought to you by
the internet
You Have a Digital Reputation
The internet has done an amazing thing. It has made the world smaller. We can experience community with people who live on the other side of the globe, we can keep up with old friends and classmates, and we can get better connected with like-minded folks in our cities, states, countries, and planet. And while most have adopted the small town community experience through digital means, not all of us have been so good as to adopt the small town manners as well. Sometimes we still assume anonymity and the ability to get away with lacking courtesy and discretion, and we pay for it.
It Affects Your Professional Life
These days, it's not unlikely that a potential employer will "Google" you or check you out on Facebook. What are they looking for? They want a glimpse of your character, and your social media outlets help them get it. Would this person be a bad reflection on the company? Who do they hang out with? Where do they go? What do they say? If they had a bad day at work, would they post about it? Would they vent about how they don't like their boss? What you say, do, and reveal online might determine whether you're hired or not.
It Affects Your Love Life
When I was dating, I often checked out a guy's Facebook page starting years back to get an idea of who they were. Have they had many girlfriends? Who are their close buds? Where do they hang out? What kind of language do they use? What I discovered played a large part in whether I entertained the idea of getting to know them better or not.
Similarly, a guy might look to discover, Does she have a bunch of duck-face selfies posted (is she into herself)? Is she flirtatious with other guys? Is she catty? Who are her friends? Where does she hang out? Does she spew her emotional garbage openly like nobody's business? You'd hope he'd see a beautiful, smart, fun and kind woman who still has some mystery to her.
It Affects Your Friendships
There have been many a friendship damaged or destroyed over private messages not being kept private, catty comments, posting unflattering, embarrassing or private pictures, venting of private matters publicly and just a general lack of discretion. If you wouldn't want the person being spoken of to see it, don't put it in writing because you have no guarantee that it will never cross their eyes. I'll go beyond that and say, don't gossip in any form. Just don't. It's not kind and that sort of behavior always comes back around.
So how should you approach this brave new world?
Clean up Your Digital Reputation
You can give your digital presence a cleansing by critically looking over your social media outlets and deleting or untagging yourself in anything that doesn't reflect well on your character. It could be pictures you've posted, pictures and unsavory comments posted by others that you were tagged in, or posts you made with foul language or a gossiping flair. Go back to the beginning.
Do you have anything you've done online towards someone that you regret? Make it right. Get in contact with that person, sincerely apologize, and ask forgiveness.
Keep it Clean
Refrain from...
Foul language. I don't care how mad you are. Give yourself time to chill before taking your frustration to the world.
Racy pictures. Respect yourself by being modest as well as pretty, encouraging the type of admiration worth having. Pictures, once posted, are out of your hands. People can save, print, and pass them along.
Speaking ill of anyone. Rarely do these words not reach the person you are speaking of eventually.
Venting. If you really need to vent, write it down and burn it.
Posting private or embarrassing pictures of others. Asking before posting is always a nice gesture.
Posting about private family matters such as disagreements. In searching for a sympathetic ear, you may get yourself into a mess!
Liking without looking. When you "like" or comment on something others can see it, too. Sometimes as we're scrolling through news feeds we may barely look at a post but give it a thumbs up not knowing that it may contain inappropriate content.
Keep in mind...
"If you take care of your character,
your reputation takes care of itself."
-Unknown
"If you don't want anyone to find out,
don't do it."
-Chinese Proverb
A fool-proof way to a social media presence that helps boost your reputation and gets you where you'd like to go is to adopt small town manners and realize that you don't have the luxury of anonymity. Be a lady, be discreet, be courteous, be kinder than necessary, and be aware of the way situations may appear. Remember, perception is reality.
Shine on!
-Abigail
