My Love is Unconditional, But My Fellowship Isn't (Pt. 2 of The Freedom Series)
In just a few weeks, a celebration will break out across our nation. What will we be celebrating? Our blessed independence! God bless the USA!
It was Thomas Jefferson who said on November 29th, 1775, “Believe me, dear Sir: there is not in the British empire a man who more cordially loves a union with Great Britain than I do. But, by the God that made me, I will cease to exist before I yield to a connection on such terms as the British Parliament propose; and in this, I think I speak the sentiments of America.”
Like the early relationship between America and Great Britain, are you in a relationship that is unhealthy and unbalanced? As our country's forefathers took steps to independence that provided freedom, you can do the same.
Real love is not conditional. It loves at all times. I've come to realize that to love someone, however, doesn't mean that you have to accept and endure behaviors from them that can be damaging to you, whether by harmful words or actions. While you can't control how someone treats you, you can control whether you spend time with them or not. And sometimes, putting some distance between yourself and them is not only the most loving thing you can do for yourself, but the most loving thing you can do for the other person.
“It's elementary, my dear Watson.” -Sherlock Holmes
Did you ever lose a friend growing up because of something mean that you did? Remember the feeling of loss? An unforgettable way to learn that a certain behavior is not okay and will not be tolerated is to lose the fellowship of another because of it. Boy, it cuts to the core. Feelings of regret and sadness can sweep over you. These feelings may lead you to be sorry for what you've done and to purpose in your heart to never do it again.
If you're finding yourself in a relationship in which someone is continually saying or doing things that are hurtful and harmful to you, it is time for them to learn that it's not okay. Just as Thomas Jefferson expressed that he loved a union with Great Britain, but he was not willing to be in a relationship with them under their presented terms, you can say to a person, “I love you, but under the circumstances, I cannot be with you.”
At America's response to Britain's terms, which was well reflected in Jefferson's statement, Great Britain had one of two choices: 1) They could change their terms to something more agreeable, or 2) They could refuse to change their terms and risk America's attempt to cut all ties with them. Similarly then, that person has two choices: 1) They can refuse to alter their behavior and lose your fellowship (not your love, mind you. That's always there.), or 2) They can change their behavior and have restored fellowship. Are you ready to take this step to freedom in the relationship by presenting these choices?
Cutting fellowship is not about punishing. The goal is not to make someone pay, but to make someone see. Our hope is for them to realize that their behavior is not right. We don't want revenge, but repentance and restored fellowship.
Join me in celebrating freedom as we approach the date our country declared itself an independent nation, and be free to love courageously!
-Abigail
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Source: This is an original post by A.L. George in "In His Image" facebook magazine. For more about freedom in relationships, check out Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend.
